Voting for the mayor who promised to blow up the city doesn’t mean I approve of the major blowing up the city. Mike Drucker delivers a hilarious take-down of current events in this piece from McSweeney’s.

Before you rush to cancel me, try to remember the mayor made lots of promises, and I didn’t expect him to keep them all. Yes, he promised to turn our playgrounds to glass and take a blowtorch to the schools; yes, he said that he was going to use napalm on every grocery store, but, as I said, he also promised he was going to fix the old bowling alley.

Sometimes humor is about the only way to deal with the truth. Spoiler alert: The bowling alley never gets fixed.